Downtrodden but Not Destroyed
The affects of chemo on one’s body are great. I find that with each treatment my body becomes weaker, and yet even though I have breakdowns over how I feel and what is left to endure my spirit grows stronger.
Many of you know the anticipated side effects of chemo; continual nausea, loss of appetite, body aches, and pain. Some have wondered why I wear glasses in pictures they see of me after treatment and that is because my eyes burn and my head pounds. I’ve also begun to have sores in my nose and mouth, but still overall the worst is the sickness that lingers in your stomach and works at defeating one’s heart. My husband and I have discussed that as a person who is determined to shine Light on Cancer I don’t want the spirit and Light God blesses me with to fool anyone on the rigors endured when battling this disease. My heart has been heavy for others who feel and have felt the same discomfort, and I am glad God has given me a heart of servitude for others who are weary. I believe serving others like Jesus did on Earth helps me look beyond my own plight and suffering, and foster a heart of gratitude despite the trials of this world.
I also have to think about the suffering Jesus anticipated on the cross for our sins as I anticipate more sickness, which makes my plight minimal in comparison.
My Cancer theme verse has ran through my head all night as I think about another round of chemo today.
“9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”2 Cor. 12:9-10.
I don’t feel strong, but I know the power of God alone can help me to be strong and will help me through another day.
Much Love and Peace in Christ,