I can now say “I am
halfway done” with the bad chemo! I am so thankful that I have made it
this far, and as far as the credit for getting here I bestow on our Heavenly
Father. The picture above is of a clinging cross given to me as a gift
before I started chemo. The clinging cross for me is symbolic of a life line
during the hours I spend in the chemo bed. It is with me through every prick,
sickness, or pain encountered in the infusion center, and reminds me of the
pain Jesus knowingly chose to endure so I could be forgiven!
Today I had the
realization that although I know I must cling to God during this time, and I
feel that He is with me, I am still learning how to make each moment an eternal
moment. I am learning how to enjoy peace in His presence, and not be burdened
with the inability to rejoin “the busy”. There are times I am
obviously thankful for what Cancer has done for my spiritual life, and
other moments I so wish to return to the business that is this world. It is a
growing process to become aware of how much Cancer can take away from you, and
still a joy and heart awakening to be given the opportunity to be
allowed the time to do the most fulfilling thing there is in this world…..
spending time with God, ensuring my eternity, and clinging to the Cross.
Here is a poem I wrote about my Clinging Cross
I cling to the cross with all of my might
Even when my strength is lost and things don’t feel right
He is my companion both by day and by night.
Without His loss for me on that cross
the Light would not be so bright!
Here is the original poem for the Clinging Cross that we give with Clinging Crosses we give to Cancer Patients through Tenaciously Teal- A Non Profit I founded to help Cancer fighters!
When my mind is fuzzy
And my eyes are dim with tears,
I need to feel Your presence, Lord,
And know that You are near.
When my heart is racing
And my thoughts have such a sting,
I tightly grasp this little cross
And prayerfully I cling.